mostly sweet with a few nuts"

Aug 20, 2006 That What That Was Till about age nine I lived in a small little town outside Greeley, Colorado. All most everytime we had to "come to town" to do what ever we needed to do. There was this guy that we drove by. Me and my sister always wondered what this statue guy was and why he was there. Well I figured out what it was but still am at a loss for why is where it is. I found this info out by going to Road Side America where they have all of the information below. How to Identify a Muffler Man Avoid the social embarrassment of incorrectly categorizing a muffler man sighting by studying his simple features and variations: Note: Muffler Men are NOT the 4-6 ft. tall welded sculptures made of discarded car parts at repair shops! Physical Characteristics Material: Fiberglass. Knock on his leg to see if he's hollow. Height: From bottom of shoe to top of head or hat, between 18-25 ft. tall Head: Well-chiseled facial bones, prominent brow and squarish "lantern" jaw. Crack a beer bottle over this guy's noggin and he wouldn't be fazed. Eyes may appear to stare blankly into the middle distance, or may be painted to leer down at visitors. Exceptions: Halfwits and Indians Torso: Broad-shoulders, and familiar design of fake shirt folds. Pockets, suspenders, shirt patterns sometimes painted on. Exceptions: Indian models often barechested. Arms: Short-sleeved shirt, well-articulated veins bulge on forearms. Bent at elbow, left palm faces down, right palm faces up -- with an open grasp to hold an ax, muffler, golf club, etc. Shoes and legs: Big, blocky shoes measure about 4-ft. from heel to toe. Pants exhibit familiar pattern of folds and creases. Basic Types The Classic Gas Station Attendant, Golfer, Hamburger Man, Cowboy Configured with all the basic characteristics, standing 21-22 ft. tall. While shipped clean-shaven, may be customized with a painted mustache or even a beard -- sometimes in the style of the Bunyan model. The Cowboy version of the classic always features a removable Stetson. Bunyan Lumberjack, Woodsman Configured with most of the basic characteristics, standing 20 ft. tall. The Bunyan probably existed before the Classic. Distinguishing features include a head with a molded wool cap, and a heavy beard. Bunyans are frequently sighted brandishing single or double-sided axes. Shirt may be painted in a red plaid pattern. There is somewhat shorter variation of the Bunyan that wears a hard hat or miner's helmet. Indian Noble Savage, the Big Chief, or the Brave Shoes and legs are often the same, but other characteristics of the Indian are further removed from purebred M-Man lineage. The head and arm configuration differ, except in cases where May don a single "Brave" feather or full "Chief" headdress. This category is confused by instances of Classics that have been modified to appear as Indians. See The Big Indian Question Happy Halfwit Mortimer Snerd, Alfred E. Neumann, S.F.B., Country Bumpkin The gap-toothed, jug-eared Happy Halfwit is comedy relief among otherwise stern looking M-Men types. This strain shares the M-Man's molded torso/arms and legs/shoes. Sports a straw hat or baseball cap. Original Halfwits were sold in heights as tall as 21 ft. Many of today's survivors are a shorter, neckless variety, closer to 15-18 ft. See the Gallery of Happy Halfwits Not Really Muffler Men While not classified as Muffler Men, other roadside fiberglass humanoids are still of interest: Carpeteria Genie Prospector A&W Root Beer Family Big Boy Happy Chef Surfer Dude posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 12:14 AM   0 Comments: Post a Comment << Home