mostly sweet with a few nuts"

Aug 31, 2005 In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????..) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because....???) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious?) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) I got this e-mail from my mother-in-law thought it was funny and just had to share with everyone posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 3:17 AM   0 Talk to Me!!!!

Aug 29, 2005 I Love my Husband but He is a DUMB ASS Okay let me start by saying that I love my husband very much but this weekend he proved to me once and for all that he is a dumb ass. This story starts on Sunday afternoon. My kids had a friend stay the night. Around 4:00 he decides that we need to get out of the house and go do something. Seems that we don't have air conditioning we decide to take the kids friend home and go swimming at her house (they live in a park that has a swimming pool.) We take her home and I visit with her mom, who I work with and have become good friends. After the kids come back from swimming we load up our lawn mower because the borrowed it and we head home. When we get home we unload the lawn mower and the neighbors are out getting ready to mow there lawn also. While Jason is getting ready to mow the lawn I go inside to get dinner for the kids. Okay somewhere in the 5 to 10 minutes that it took to make a peanut butter sandwich the neighbor asks Jason to help her lower the wheels on there mower. Well being the nice guy he goes to help. Well instead of turning off the mower like he should have he tries to adjust the wheels with it running. Well to make this story a little shorter he looses his balance and puts his hand under the lawn mower to catch. Okay now I'm going to give you one guess to what he did. He come running into the house bleeding and telling me to get into the car because he needs to go the hospital. Now with that information I bet you have guessed what he did. He managed to get his fingers under the mower where the blade is at. He cut the tips of two of his fingers off. Yes not just cutting them but cutting them off. We get to the ER and they take ex-rays and they tell him that he lost his ring finger at the top knuckle and his middle finger just below the nail. They also give him some really good drugs, wrap up his hand and tell him he needs to go to a orthopedic surgeon within 24 hours. So Monday morning I get up get the kids to school and start making the calls needed to get him into the surgeon with in the 24 hours. Well we have and HMO for our insurance so we need a referral to go to a "specialist." I call our primary care provider and they want to see him in there office before they refer him to a orthopedic surgeon. After explaining to them whey he needed to see one they made an appointment. So we get to the office and they take him back. Take of the yucky bandages and look at what they have to work with. They look him over and the good news he they don't think he will need surgery unless it gets infected or some other freak thing happens. So now you can see why I think my husband is a DUMB ASS. Good grief he should know better than that. posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 3:16 AM   2 Talk to Me!!!!

Aug 28, 2005 You Are a Mai Tai You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive. And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away. What Mixed Drink Are You? posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 3:11 AM   0 Talk to Me!!!!

Aug 15, 2005 How weird are you Okay acording to this I'm not that weird. But if you know me at all I'm am really strange!!! Hope you enjoy this one You Are 30% Weird Not enough to scare other people... But sometimes you scare yourself. How Weird Are You? posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 5:17 AM   1 Talk to Me!!!!

Aug 12, 2005 I am also a copier 10 Random Things About Me 10) I have ADD (Attention Defisite Disorder.) 09) I have one sister and two 1/2 brothers 08) I have two kids. One boy and one girl. The best of both worlds 07) Daises are my favorite flower, but not the white kind. 06) I am really weird but people love that about me for some reason 05) My best friend of all my life lives in Washington, and I haven't seen her in over four years. 04) I love reading. I found a new great book. It is called Through Violet Eyes and it rocks. Check it out here: Through Violet Eyes 03) I was born in Colorado and I now live in Oklahoma. These are the only two states that I've lived in. 02) I put two baby girls up for adoption 01) I love the interent because I can meet new people and keep in touch with my family. 9 Places I Have Visited 09) Montana 08)Wyoming 07) Kansas 06) Nebraska 05) California 04) Las Vegas, NV 03) Texas 02) Utah (though that was just the airport) 01) Several boring places in Colorado 8 Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 30 08) Go to College 07) Buy a House 06) Lose 50 pounds, and get to the weight I was before I had kids. 05) Go on a cruise. 04) Get out of debt 03) Learn to be a better person than I am now 02) Start saving for my kids college. 01) Travel to Europe, the Caribbean, all the islands in Hawaii and Australia 7 Ways To Win My Heart 07) Make me laugh. 06) Love me for me; not what I do, or who you think I should be. 05) Understand who I am. Not the person you think I am 04) Don't be afraid to tell me the truth even if it hurts. 03) Protect me when I am vulnerable. 02) Hold me when I cry, and just let me cry. 01) The two L's: Don't Lie, don't leave. 6 Things I Believe 06) True love only comes along once. If you find it hold on for dear life. 05) That we are all connected and effected by Mother Nature, the Earth, the Sun, and the Moon. 04) Crying is good for the soul. 03) Parents should love and accept their children no matter what they do. 02) Your family is the most important thing in your life. Treat it with respect and it will do the same for you. You can never change who your family is. 01) Strength is inside all of us, we just have to find it. 5 Things I'm Afraid Of 05) Being alone. 04) Dieing Young 03) Spiders. 02) My kids growing up and hating me for the things that I've done. 01) Being abandoned by those I care about. 4 Favorite Things 04) Friends 03) Books 02) Family 01) Jason my hubby. 3 Things I Do Everyday 03) Read a good book. Keeps me sane 02) Think about how to accomplish my goals in life. 01) Tell the people I love that I love them on a daily basis. 2 Things I Am Trying Not To Do 02) Say things that I don't mean and that can hurt other people. 01) Gain more weight that I wish I didn't have. 1 Personal Motto 01) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 5:29 AM   2 Talk to Me!!!!

Aug 11, 2005 Super Mario 64 Okay I've had a N64 for like 2 years. We play the three games we have occationally. Though recently my hubby and I have become addicted to Super Mario 64. We are trying to beat the game. I have even gone onling and found some cheats to help us but for some reason we can't beat bowser the first time and we can't get any farther until we do. It is so frustraiting. AHHHHHH save me from Super Mario. I think that we are taking it to my new friends house tomarrow. Were going to see if you 11 year old some can help us out. Which I'm guessing he can. Though if you have any sugestions feel free to leave them for me. Anything right now would help posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 12:45 PM   0 Talk to Me!!!!

What Classic Pin Up Am I??? You're Brigitte Bardot! What Classic Pin-Up Are You? brought to you by Quizilla posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 6:12 AM   0 Talk to Me!!!!

Aug 8, 2005 I feel like crap Hello everyone. It has been awhile since I have written. I am now stuck at work sick. This really sucks. I'm freezing cold and my stomach is REALLY upset. Hope everyone is doing better. Talk to you when I feel better. posted by The Ultimate Nut @ 2:13 AM   0 Talk to Me!!!!